A Love Lost
by Vixenkiba
Summary: Thorin Oakenshield finds himself lost in feelings he thought he would never feel again. How is it possible for him to recognize with a Hobbit? And no less a Hobbit than Bilbo Baggins? Thorin tries to object his feelings, but he doesn't know that Bilbo's love for him is growing with each passing day. Thilbo Bagginshield slash, M because of possible adult themes in the future.


**Author's note: **As Timmain told me, it would be fair to say this story takes place in a slightly different Alternate Universe (AU), where a dwarf can recognize with a person 'destinied' to be with him. Whether the dwarf ends up with that person, completely depends on the other. This was not inspired by Elfquest (I didn't even know Elfquest before it was mentioned, I really should look it up... Seems like a great comic series.) but in fact by an old LOTR fanfic I read where dwarves could also recognize. I hope this explains it a bit more! Of course, more information will be available in the story itself, in future chapters.

**A love lost – Thilbo Bagginshield **

**Chapter 01: An Unexpected Feeling**

This was not possible. How could it be possible? There was no way a dwarf could recognize with a creature like this, yet at the first sight he felt that somehow this person was His One. He simply could not and did not want to agree with that fact.

_This cannot be happening_, Thorin thought. _It must be some kind of mistake; I must be confused and tired because of the long traveling and losing my way two times. That must be it._ He tried to convince himself what he was feeling was wrong.

Thorin had thought of the many problems they would meet during their journey to Erebor, but not of this. He had informed the dwarves about the dangers they would meet, about many people thinking them not wise to make this journey and about what would happen if they would fail. No one had informed _him_ something like this could happen. He knew every single dwarf very well and the wizard too. It had been Gandalf who had recommended him a burglar and it had been Gandalf giving himself the task to find this person. Thorin had not thought Gandalf would find a burglar like this. Thorin had not thought this would be his reaction to the burglar. Thorin hadn't even thought he would ever fall in love again. Not after _that_ had happened…

But now here he was, in the hole of a Hobbit, who stood between his loyal dwarves with a colourful dressing-gown wrapped around his tiny body. Thorin hadn't needed more than a glimpse to know the reaction of his body and brain to him. It was quite obvious.

At first he hadn't even seen the small creature. It was Gandalf he saw first and was happy to meet him here.

"Gandalf. I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice. I wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door," he had said.

That was when he heard the Hobbit. Behind him he heard an unfamiliar voice proclaim, sounding somewhat irritated, that there wasn't a door and that he had just painted it. Gandalf explained then that of course there was a mark on the door; he had put it there himself. The Hobbit had stuttered, rather unpleased hearing someone had drawn a mark on his door without asking it first. That was when Thorin turned around and saw the Halfling. That was when it had struck him. And Thorin's fear became truth for he was being introduced to the Halfling by Gandalf and he clearly heard that this Hobbit's name was Bilbo Baggins; the particular Hobbit they would be taking on their quest. Their burglar, chosen by Gandalf. The last person at this moment he wanted to come with him, yet who he also longed for… No.

Thorin tried to shake the feeling off him, desperately wanting to reject his feelings. When looking more critically at the Hobbit, he wondered what Gandalf saw in him. He didn't look like a warrior at all, or a burglar even, and being the worst of it, he was skinny and weak.

Quickly he steadied himself and glanced at Gandalf. Gandalf looked rather amused and Thorin was afraid his facial expression had been too obvious just now when he had looked at the Hobbit. You never knew with them wizards. Gandalf always seemed to know what you tried to hide from him. Thorin walked to stand in front of the Hobbit and encircled him, asking questions.

"So, this is the Hobbit. Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?"

"Pardon me?" the Hobbit asked, rather offended.

"Axe or sword? What's your weapon of choice?" Thorin continued.

Thorin saw a shy smile on the Hobbit's face as he muttered to have some skill at conkers, clearly proud at it. Thorin didn't know if to laugh or cry. _Conkers. You've got to be joking me._

Mocking the Hobbit, Thorin threw in the crowd, "Thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar!", after which all dwarves laughed and accompanied Thorin to the dining table. Thorin didn't know much about Hobbits, but it was clear their folk were not used to quests or fighting, for he had seen many in Hobbiton before arriving here. When he had asked the way, they rather saw him outside than profiting from it. They had not been very hospitable towards him, a Dwarven King nonetheless! Luckily he could now divert his thoughts by eating… it sure smelled nice here.

* * *

Bilbo had never been as confused in his life as now. For one reason or another, there were thirteen dwarves in his house. Thirteen! And worst of all, they were plundering all of his storerooms! Uninvited even! Now that was some nerve they had. In the previous hours, he had been commanded, ignored, pushed aside, used as a pack mule, his dishware had been used as projectiles and last but not least he had also been mocked by a seemingly important dwarf! The dwarf had observed him from top to toe with stunning blue eyes, and Bilbo would have called him handsome if only he had smiled along with it. This was simply too much! With a groan Bilbo followed the dwarves to the dining table, where they all installed themselves around the important dwarf. Thorin he was called. Thorin whattashield? Bilbo didn't know and didn't care.

The dwarves were talking about people coming with them and Bilbo couldn't help his curiosity, so he asked, "You're going on a quest?"

Instead of getting an answer, Gandalf asked him to get a light, and so he did. On the table, Gandalf had spread out a map. "Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak."

"The Lonely Mountain…" Bilbo read. He didn't follow what came next, something about ravens and a foretelling and birds returning. When he heard 'beast' however, his ears twitched and he was suddenly concerned. "What beast?"

A dwarf called Bofur smiled to him and explained, "Well that would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age. Airborne fire-breather, teeth like razors, claws like meathooks, extremely fond of precious metals."

Bilbo rolled his eyes at him. "Yes, I know what a dragon is."

A dragon. They were going to get involved with a dragon. Bilbo felt himself getting ill. Even in the quiet country of Hobbiton, dragons were known from stories and songs. They seemed like terrible creatures, the most unpeaceful beings that could ever roam on Middle Earth, and Hobbits for sure did not like anything that could disturb their peace. Surely Dragons had no manners as well. But there were no dragons here and many believed they did not exist. But what was there to worry anyway? Bilbo had nothing to do with this dwarven-quest.

The dwarves were quarrelling now about dragons and who would kill the creature, when suddenly Thorin jumped up in anger and silenced all of the dwarves. The dwarves immediately sat down and listened. Bilbo did too. The guy was talking very majestically, going on about this 'taking back Erebor' stuff. Bilbo had to admit, the dwarf sure had some authority and dignity. And looked rather good. Bilbo felt a sudden rush of affection for the dwarf, looking at his broad back, long dark hair and listening to his fiery voice, but he quickly shook the feeling off him. This was no man of peace and quiet and he and his dwarven companions were actually disturbing the peace of Bag End with their ridiculous talking about mountains and dragons! Bilbo was tired, and because of that he probably only started to think weird. He just wanted this party to be over with.

Bilbo decided to just monitor this meeting, since it would be rude to go away now that he had asked questions and gotten answers. When they were done talking, sure they would go away and leave him in peace. Then he would just forget anything like this had happened in his house. Bilbo hoped the neighbours hadn't taken notice of this 'merry' gathering, for he probably wouldn't have heard the last of it a hundred years later if they did. So Bilbo listened, and acted like he was actually interested. They were talking about keys, yes, and hidden doors. Stealth and courage.

Ori, appearing to be the youngest dwarf, made the clever comment that they would need a burglar for the task with the door and key. Bilbo thought it nice to help the guy by bringing in, "And a good one too. An expert, I'd imagine!" How he wished later he would never have said that.

* * *

"And are you?" Glóin had asked.

"Am I what?" Bilbo had replied, confused.

Then Ori had jumped up and down, shouting, "He said he's an expert! Hey hey!"

The Hobbit had stammered and stuttered that he was not a burglar, but all the dwarves talked so loud now that his voice was overwhelmed by them. Thorin studied the Hobbit and listened. Apparently he didn't even want to be a burglar. What was Gandalf thinking, choosing him? Thorin was glad when Balin agreed with Bilbo not being a burglar. "He's hardly burglar material," Balin had stated the obvious. Thorin just hoped something would happen that would make it unnecessary for the Halfling to go on their journey. Dwalin then agreed with Balin. "Aye, the wild is no place for gentlefolk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves," he had said. This helped, for the dwarves started arguing whether or not to take Baggins as a burglar on their journey. Almost the moment was there. They wouldn't take the Hobbit with them… if it wasn't for Gandalf.

Suddenly Gandalf arose from his chair big and dark and looked very dangerous. "Enough!" he shouted. Thorin's hope shattered. "If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is!" All dwarves went quiet and none dared to disagree with the wizard. "Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet," Gandalf continued in a normal voice. "In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose. And while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of dwarf, the scent of hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage." All dwarves listened to him in awe, all ears. "You asked me to find the fourteenth member of this company, and I have chosen Mr. Baggins. There's a lot more to him than appearances suggest, and he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including himself. You must trust me on this." Thorin saw this was it. His dwarves would no longer object. And if he wanted Gandalf on his side, he would have to play along with his game. There was nothing to do about it. _Damn you, Gandalf, _Thorin thought.

He sighed. "Very well," he finally said. "We'll do it your way. Give him the contract." Some dwarves cheered, like Bofur. To Thorin's surprise, the Hobbit began to object to both him and Gandalf, but he simply ignored him and so did Gandalf. The only hope left for Thorin was for the Hobbit not to sign the contract.

As Balin handed over the contract to Bilbo and the Hobbit started to read it, Thorin bends to Gandalf and softly whispers, "I cannot guarantee his safety." The wizard looked into Thorin's eyes thoughtfully and answered, "Understood." Thorin continued, "Nor will I be responsible for his fate." Thorin would have nothing to do with this Hobbit. After a small pause, Gandalf agreed.

Thorin looked back at the Hobbit, reading his contract aloud. So small and, he didn't want to use the word, delicate. But he was not his responsibility. The Hobbit would be wise to decline. And still… Thorin hated himself and his brain for telling him other things and letting him feel feelings he didn't want to feel. Still, Thorin couldn't help to let out a small chuckle at the creature trying to calm down and finally collapsing on the floor. There was no way this person would be able to face all the dangers during their journey. There was no way this person could come with them. There was no way this person could be with him.

* * *

_Hello, __**Vixenkiba**__ here again! I actually started working on this story before my Bofur/Bilbo one, but waited until I had seen the movie another time, to be sure I had some details right! And I'm glad I did, because I had to rewrite a lot. As you may have noticed, I'm trying to stay as close to the movie version as possible. You could say this story is kind of my interpretation of some movie scenes, but with Thilbo stuff added. There will also be chapters on things NOT happening in the movie, but I felt an introduction like in this chapter was needed, and I'm glad I wrote it. _

_Don't worry, I didn't drop the Bofur/Bilbo story and I'm actually also writing the next chapter now, so you'll probably see updates on both stories every few days. I'm still an amateur writer, so I write as much as possible to get those skills (if they are there...) to a higher level. _

_I hope you'll enjoy this story! Feel welcome to give feedback on it! _

_And if you like, you could answer the poll on my profile page - I'm trying to get to know what chapter-length people like the most ;)_


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